I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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