Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
