What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
