do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
