The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
