Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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