After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
