Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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