Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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