my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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