maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
