It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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