In the future we'll all be gay
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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