I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
