There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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