You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
