Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
