I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dear god my vagina.
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