dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
