Non-Jews are for practice
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
