the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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