Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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