Ambien. No doubt about it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
