I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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