did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We don't watch enough power rangers
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
