you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
