Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
