a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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