If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
