i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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