Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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