This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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