Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
