More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
