new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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