Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i out mim tonsoeep
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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