You really coming over, don't trick.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
