drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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