He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
organizing the empties. That sober.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
