oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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