So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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