You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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