You're so nebulous sometimes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
