I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
did i walk over a car last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
