its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
