Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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