Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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