I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
