Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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