did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
