THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize