Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
